Ask A Flash Fiction Editor: Vignette vs. Flash Fiction

First off, much thanks to Peter Cowlam for his professionalism and generosity in letting us see the flash fiction process in action! Thanks for being brave, Peter! Read the full text of “Googled” below and follow the links to learn more about Peter and his work.

I’m particularly thrilled to have “Googled” on the docket for our first discussion of flash fiction because it exemplifies one of the biggest questions many writers have when crossing over from other genres—how is flash fiction different than a vignette?

The answer is quite simple: Urgency.

Go with me here a minute…

While the impressionistic vignette is expected, even encouraged to languish in its vocabulary, setting, and mood, flash fiction has an almost desperate need to tell a story before it’s too late.

Imagine flash fiction as a lifeboat: Literature as you know it is drowning in a flood of Biblical proportions, and flash fiction is here to save you. But there isn’t enough room for all your words. Suddenly all those beautiful descriptions, exotic settings, amazing metaphors and thoughtful characterizations must be reexamined in a crucial moment of discernment: what is the urgent message of this story?

Sure, we could call it “tension” or “plot”, but it’s really about storytelling—the story bends with urgency like a fish caught at the end of a pole. And in a novel, there is plenty of time to deal with this story arc, 100,000 words or more. In a short story there are only 20,000 words, perhaps, but still no rush. Plenty of time to take in the sights along the way.

But in flash fiction you have strapped yourself into the Japanese bullet train of storytelling—a complete experience in as little as 500 words. And some of the joys of both writing and reading flash fiction are the literary acrobatics that happen when plot arcs are forced to bend in such a small space. Conversely, I’ve seen writers begin a flash fiction piece slowly…and then realize they were quickly approaching the 1000 word ceiling. Suddenly they make a shift into a new sort of voice…and that new voice is flash fiction.

So Peter, let’s look at “Googled” as an example of flash fiction in progress: (pasted below).

The strength of “Googled” is your ability to word paint—you clearly have a poet’s love for language and a novelist’s love for setting and scene. The linguistic “cinematography” in this piece is exquisite: The atmosphere and mood of the wine bar, as well as the internationalism of both your characters and descriptions allow the reader into privileged worlds, a neo-bohemian wonder akin to a child peeking into an adult party after bedtime.

But let’s return to our initial question here: what’s the difference between flash fiction and a vignette? A vignette is a slice of life, a snapshot, a moment, a piece of poetic prose aimed at capturing an emotion or a feeling. A vignette does not have to concern itself with plot.

And this is still a weak point of “Googled”: While there is certainly an implied story arc—Google is doing something terrible that will have repercussions—the driving urgency of the story as well as the clear bend of the story arc is often lost under your beautiful imagery and lush vocabulary. Remember that a single flower takes on an immediacy that two dozen roses spilling abundantly from vases cannot, and the inherent constraints of the form forces the flash fiction writer to be discerning—every word left must be absolutely necessary.

Peter, my biggest suggestion to you with this piece is to strip away much of the story setup and the lush language and ask the essential flash fiction question: what is the urgent message of this story?

I would offer that the most urgent message in your story as it stands now is this:

Nikolov paled at Lucetta’s message: Google planned an extension of its free book downloads.

Or, in my own words:

“Oh shit,” Nikolov thought, looking at Lucetta’s message. Google had won.

Again, your plot is there, but the urgency of that story is still buried under the weight of its own beauty. And once you understand what is driving your story, what makes it different than its vignette cousin, it’s going to be much easier to clear away the excess and develop the real story arc.

My homework for you, Peter, as well as anyone else who finds their stories in this position: Identify the one sentence where the urgency of your story begins, and make that the first sentence of your story.

Remember: the lifeboat is coming. You’ll have to leave something behind. So what do you really need to say?

Thanks so much, Peter, for trusting me and allowing us to see your process!

Happy Writing!

~ Nancy Stohlman

Next up: Diane Klammer! (Contact me on Facebook or at nancystohlman@gmail.com if you’d like me to consider your story)

*

“Googled” by Peter Cowlam

(665 words.)

Only Lucetta Campanini can tell us, supposing she wants to, just why she chose Boris Nikolov’s wine bar for her latest mortar fire into the enemy camp, which as far as she’s concerned harbours all things open source. Lucetta, as everyone in literary London knows, heads up one of the most prestigious authors’ agencies, with offices in St Katharine’s Docks and in Manhattan (a brownstone house in fact, built in the 1890s in Fifty-second Street).

Nikolov, as must have been explained elsewhere, had always wanted to name his wine bar In Luglio, but already some were calling it Imbroglio. All the same, it wasn’t at all necessary to don helmets and battle fatigues, as, with all those habitual snipes and missiles into that vast terrain of the great unwashed, Lucetta was never less than charming, and was always so punctilious when it came to moments of etiquette, social and artistic.

That said, I’m not so sure a wine bar – In Luglio’s, Imbroglio’s, whatever – is quite the best place (and at an hour precluding cocktails) for a highly important press release, this one delivered in the full caress of an early autumn morning. I am not one of those reporters gagged to the prevailing propaganda, so when I say it was issued on behalf of the Republic of Letters in general, what I really mean is her firm in particular (an array of Booker laureates she boasts).

The ever willing Nikolov had surpassed himself in order to make the occasion memorable, and had regimented his waiting staff to pass round among all those assembled the best of his capacious silver platters, a sort of guerrilla tactic. These came piled with diced pineapple, sprinkled – according to family cuisine, and impeccable connections way back East – with a hint of muscovado. Then of course there was filter coffee aplenty.

Yet it was Nikolov himself who paled at the gist of Lucetta’s message. Lucetta was responding – and very promptly so – to the news that the ubiquitous Google planned an extension of its free book downloads. That corporation, I shouldn’t need to add, at the same time assured a suspicious book trade that this involved only material out of copyright. Such magnanimous gestures do not content the Lucetta Campaninis, whose premise seems to be – superficially at least – that such a move only raises expectations among the electronic community, the most astute of whom already predict the availability of all intellectual property everywhere gratis over the internet.

Nikolov knows that Lucetta is not being quite ingenuous, and this he has learned from me, over the many hours after midnight when, as a straggler well past closing time, I have sat at his deserted bar, with endless cold coffee slops and the laptop wired to the blogosphere. Often he stands at my shoulder, with his Slavic stress and emphases on all the wrong syllables, voicing – as detached from my own as it’s possible to be – these lonely syntagms I’m wont to dispatch to the steppes of an ethereal Cyberia. Books, you see, are a core subject, as amenable to those same self-fulfilling destinies as all those blue-rosetted candidates he couldn’t ever overcome in his bid to contest a safe vacated seat.

Problem for Nikolov is twofold, and has very much to do with this great classless class society the West has turned its capitalism into. That I’m sure he ought to remain philosophical about, yet it is rather personal when Lucetta not only hires his imbroglio, but does so specifically for the perpetuation of combat. For her that means upholding an advance system whose inflexible rule is this, that a handful of author constructs – a mesmerising fraternity whose books it is difficult to sell – command stupendous sums nonetheless, all so pleasantly negotiated on their behalf by this Campanini or that. It can’t go on. It can’t go on indefinitely.

Ciao, as the radicalised Boris Nikolov might put it: ‘Who can wonder that the open-source revolution is here, now, and in England?’

Peter Cowlam is a writer and critic. His brief stint as a commissioning editor saw two issues of The Finger, a journal of politics and literature. His latest book is his novella Marisa, a heady concoction of first love recalled. His latest play, Who’s Afraid of the Booker Prize?, is a satire on literary celebrity. His poems and short stories have appeared in a range of journals and litmags, most recently The Liberal, Turbulence and Epicentre Magazine. He is a founder member of the writers’ collective CentreHouse Press (www.centrehousepress.co.uk), publishing memoirs, plays and novels.

Learn about his book, Marisa, here.

The Mermaid

Originally Published in Revolver. Read here.

She was at the billiards hall, playing video poker at the bar. I could tell she was a mermaid right away, something about the silvery sheen of her skin or the way her hair tangled like blond seaweed.

You look familiar I said as I sat down. Do we know each other?

She rolled her eyes and avoided my gaze, slammed a bright blue drink and muttered, I’m not from around here.

But as soon as I heard her salty voice, I knew. The summer before I’d been sitting out among the crags of a rocky islet off the coast of France, watching the tidepools, the waves crash blue and white foam against dark brown rocks. The Sirens were clustered just out of reach, their heads bobbing with the moving sea and I became so instantly enamored that I didn’t even think about how quickly my own head would crack open on the rocks if I tried to swim out there. An old crabber yelled at me to stop as I threw myself into the swirling waters, kicking against the current. They were floating with the waves, watching me approach. They lowered their eyelids and puckered their strawberry lips at me, and each time I was within reach of one she would slip away. Finally I managed to seize one and grip her tight. She thrashed like a beautiful trout as I dragged her back to the shore, my senses maddened by her slippery vanilla skin, her sharp scales cutting me as she flailed and writhed against me. She was crying, a piercing wail that would drive dogs mad, and the old crabber had stopped and was watching me in disbelief, and the closer we got to the shore the more limp and heavy she became until she surrendered completely, caught. I drug her up through the pebbly shallows and laid her at the edge of the water where her tail would stay wet. She curled away from me and avoided my gaze, much as she was doing now. Her gills were moving slowly, beautiful and doomed, as the horizon swallowed the sun and the sea became a sound only.

You were the one in France, I finally said.

I’m not a mermaid anymore, in case you’re wondering, she answered, and she ordered another shot and turned her stool away from me.

Ask a Flash Fiction Editor

So…I’m starting a new series called “Ask A Flash Fiction Editor.” You can send me your flash fiction stories in progress and in exchange for getting a free professional edit from me, I will use your story as an example of how to create effective flash pieces for a public that is still trying to wrap their head around the form. So if you are interested message me privately with your work.  Or if you have another question that would be relevant, I’m open. For efficacy, flash stories in the shorter, 500-word range preferred. Great for getting flash fiction stories ready for the F-Bomb readings…

Happy Writing!

Contact me with your stories and/or questions at: nancystohlman@gmail.cm

30 Flash Fiction Prompts

Need a little mid-winter inspiration? Try one of these flash fiction prompts:

1: Write a story in which something transforms into something else.

2: Write a true story that is so ___________(insert adjective here) that no one would believe it’s true. But it is.

3: Find a story you’ve written that isn’t quite working. Chop it down to exactly 100 words. Give it a new title.

4: Write a story that is based in or uses elements of mythology–any mythology from any culture or time period.

5: Bibliomancy–open the dictionary to any random page, place your finger on any random word and poof! That is the title (or part of the title) of your next story.

6: Write a story from the point of view of someone much older than you.

7: Write a story about or featuring a body part. (Heads out of the gutters, people, there are other body parts!)

8: Write a secret, preferably one you think no one could relate to.

9: Write a story in which something important is lost.

10: Use a dream or pieces of a dream to create a surreal, alter-reality story.

11: Find a story of yours that’s not quite working. WITHOUT rereading it (this is key), rewrite it from scratch, letting it morph as necessary. Then compare the two and blend to taste.

12: Write a story that begins with, and consists mostly of, dialogue.

13: Write a story that deals with or includes some aspect of a taboo.

14: Write a story that has happened to you but write it from another person’s point of view.

15: Write a story that involves a reoccurring and/or deep dark fear.

16: Write a story that’s happened to someone else, but write it as if it happened to you.

17: Write a story that has some reference to a current event.

18: Write a story that involves an animal.

19: Write a story in which you spill a secret, yours or someone else’s. Disguise as necessary.

20: Write a story that takes place in an empty landscape.

21: Rewrite a scene from history.

22: Write a story that involves time travel.

23: Write a story that contains at least three of these elements: body lice, gasoline, a Hostess product, a childhood hero, an outdated slang expression, a song title or your favorite flavor.

24: Write a story that contains elements of a real holiday memory.

25: Write a story that takes place over breakfast.

26: Write a story that includes a humiliation, real or invented.

27: Write a story that involves a celebrity.

28: Write a story in which the impossible is now possible.

29: Revisit a story you’ve written. Count the words. Now reduce the word count by half.

30:  Write a story with a theme of “The End.”